


Miles, Soaps and Cursed Dinner Parties

by ana



Category: Vorkosigan Saga - Lois McMaster Bujold
Genre: Dinner Party, Domestic Fluff, Pizza, Soap Opera
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-10-24
Updated: 2010-10-24
Packaged: 2017-10-12 20:50:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 838
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/128935
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ana/pseuds/ana
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Lord Auditor Miles Vorkosigan is bored and in between auditorial assignments what does he get up to...?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Miles, Soaps and Cursed Dinner Parties

Vorkosigan House - Before a dinner party in honour of the Escobaran Ambassador

Ivan went upstairs and found Miles in the bedroom. He was lying on his front, on the bed, watching something on the vid and taking notes. He acknowledged Ivan with a flick of his hand.  

Ivan sat on the edge of the bed to see what was immersing Miles attention and his eyes widened. "It’s _that_ soap!" he laughed. "I can’t believe you're still watching this crap, Miles." 

"Shhh, pivotal bit." Miles took a few more notes and Ivan shook his head. 

The music became overblown and dramatic as three tall brunettes appeared on the vid-soap and then it switched to a different scene.

"I knew that was going to happen!" Miles said triumphantly. 

Ivan looked at all the flimsies lying about and sighed. "You've finally gone off the deep end. Again."

Ekaterin came in then in a beautiful dark red dress looking cool, warm and elegant - all at the same time. Ivan stood and greeted her with a light kiss to her cheek. 

“You look wonderful as always.”

"Thank-you Ivan."

Then she looked at Miles and frowned at his attire of t-shirt and loose trousers. "Miles, aren’t you going to get dressed?  Our guests will be here soon."

Miles waved his hand. "In a minute," he said, distracted.

Ivan appealed to Ekaterin pointing to the vid and Miles busy scribbling. "This still going on?"

Ekaterin nodded. "Ah yes, Miles is still making predictions on who killed who, who is secretly sleeping with who and other nonsense. The triplet, tall brunettes are just a bonus, I'm sure," she added with a mischievous grin. 

"People watch these things to relax,” Ivan said incredulously. “Or if they have soup for brains." He picked up one of Miles’s flimsies. "Not to conduct detailed investigations" 

Ekaterin sighed. "This _is_ Miles way of relaxing, especially when he’s bored and now he’s addicted." 

"Not addicted," Miles murmured, still scribbling. "Interesting puzzles."

Ekaterin laughed. "Let me look in on the children then we can all go down to dinner. I’m sure the Ambassador will be here soon and _someone_ should be there to greet her." 

Miles ignored the hint and carried on making notes.

"Puzzles?" Ivan said to Miles after Ekaterin had left. "Pathetic excuse, you just love watching those leggy triplets screwing around, hasn't Gregor given you a job yet?"

Miles muttered something and growled. He paused the soap and sat up slowly, giving Ivan his full attention.  Ivan bore the scrutiny with his blandest of looks.

"So did you bring a date?” Miles asked with a sudden grin.

Ivan frowned. “No.”

“No? Oh wife hunting not going so well?  Getting on a bit now aren’t you? Maybe you should have given that girl a chance who wanted to wait five years before she had kids. Come to think of it Ivan, hasn’t it been five years since you _mutually_ ditched each other and yet here you are still single.”

“She – it was– I - it’s none of your business!” Ivan walked out of the room muttering something about getting a drink or getting drunk, passing Ekaterin as he left.

Ekaterin who had heard the last bit of the conversation looked at Miles. “Was that really necessary?”

 Miles grinned. “No, but it was fun.”

About the Vorkosigan House Dinner Parties...

According to Miles’s calculations there have been 32-40* disastrous dinner parties at Vorkosigan House.  Disastrous dinner party number one is the night they had _that_ dinner party when Ekaterin fled from _that_ marriage proposal  There is no absolute number as Ekaterin and Miles often disagree on which dinners were disasters**. 

Although for Ekaterin and Miles all ended well; Miles insists that Ekaterin has never truly forgiven him for that night and so a curse has fallen, albeit randomly, on subsequent dinners. 

A curse, Miles says, that will not be broken until she truly forgives him. 

Ekaterin, on examining the _Lord Miles Vorkosigan VH Infamous Dinner Parties_ chart (with diagrams), commented that some people have far, far too much time on their hands.

 _*All pre-Ekaterin disastrous dinner parties have been declared null and void by Miles as they interfere with his calculations._

** _For example, was Lizzie’s projectile vomiting into the Escobaran Ambassador's soup and on the Ambassador herself and onto everyone seated opposite the Ambassador, a disaster or bad luck?_

 _Comments from the night:-_

 _Ekaterin: I told the Ambassador, as firmly as I possibly could, not to rock Lizzie like that._

 _Miles: I've never seen that colour before, Lizzie is a genius._

 _Ivan: I'm going to get a pizza._

 _Lady Alys: You will not get a pizza; there is plenty of other food available._

 _Helen: I want a pizza._

 _Miles: What are you doing here? I told you to stay in bed._

 _Helen: I was in bed papa then I came out.  You didn’t say how_ long _I had to stay in bed and Uncle Ivan is getting pizza._

 _Miles:  Uncle Ivan is NOT getting pizza._

 _Simon: Oh good, when are we getting pizza?_

**Author's Note:**

> Many thanks to Philomytha for the proofread and essential help. All mistakes are mine and mine alone.


End file.
